Desperate times call for desperate measures

I broke up with my ex last year and foolishly thought ‘I’m hot, I have a good job (sorta), I’ll be able to jump back in whenever I like’. I could not have been more wrong. After receiving a 2024 wrap up from not one but two dating apps, I’ve realised 2025 might be my last year to ensure the survival of my DNA. I’ve come to the horrible realisation however that at my ripe age of late 20s, the assumption is that everyone is in a relationship unless stated otherwise, and not that everyone is single and open to a bit of seductive eye contact across the MET call.

Given I spend 107% of my living hours at work, my opportunities to have a meet cute Hallmark movie romance are limited to the fluorescent corridors of my hospital. I think it’s time that single UK doctors come up with a signal that only we know to let others know we’re open to a late night instagram follow and dm pop up.

Maybe we wear our name badges upside down ‘by accident’ to signal to others that you are desperate to be EPIC dm’d. A glove in your back pocket perhaps (although this is reminiscent of prison dramas with not so romantic connotations). Maybe you could move your stethoscope so the metal pieces are around your neck when the sexy med reg comes to your department to let him know you’re interested. A hairband tied around your lanyard?

Who knows. The possibilities are endless. But I am desperate and my admittedly fantastic genes are at risk of being phased out of the gene pool due to the fact that people assume I’m in a relationship when they clearly couldn’t be more wrong. I did not suffer through my teenage years and early 20s as a nerdy blob of a person only to massively glow up in my late 20s and become single only to be left on the shelf because everyone’s scared of making a tit of themselves by trying to flirt with an unavailable person. I say us single doctors sort this out.