It’s all collapsing around me
Me and my wife have been together over 10 years. It took us 4 years to get pregnant. With all the crazy procedures that it involves. But we finally managed, and we now have a 15months old.
We have everything anybody could ask for. Big house, cars, careers. Our relationship has been solid the whole time, we very rarely fight.
We used to travel, eat out, do sports, hobbies etc together. We used to have fun. The only missing piece was starting a beautiful family.
Our kid is healthy, happy, I love him to death.
But the day to day reality now - is that our life completely sucks now and there’s no escape.
I have not slept a single night longer than 4-5 hours since he was born. We don’t have sex. We don’t eat well. We don’t do anything fun. We get sick all the time (daycare germs). The house is chaos. Every time we do something I end up exhausted and feeling like it was not worth getting out of the house to begin with
I know I know, all kids are tough in the beginning, that’s what everybody say. I know it all.
But I just can’t shake the feeling that my life sucks now. I feel trapped. I feel guilty about how I feel.
The days I look forward to the most, I’m sad to say this, is the very few days per year I have to go on company trips and sleep in some half shitty hotel somewhere. But at least I get a break to breathe and read a book or just sleep until my body wakes up by it self.
I feel like I’m not performing at work, I’m worried I’m gonna get fired. I feel like me and my wife are loosing each other, we just became each others kid-caretakers - only need we have if each other is so that the other person can take the kid and give the other parent break. We don’t even have anything to talk about anymore.
This past year and a half should have been the best of our lives, but I just feel like everything is about to fall apart. I’m worried we’re going to get divorced, sell our dream house, loose our jobs etc.
Don’t know what I want out of this post, I just wanted to vent or something 🤷♂️