Everything i do is wrong

We have a 1 year old and 3 and a half year old. The house is a disaster and no matter what I try to do with laundry, or dishes or cleaning we just never have time for any of it. Oh and everything i do is wrong. The baby cries. I didn't console fast enough. I spend too long cooking, my wife is mad because she's the only caretaker. I try to organize the mess on the dining room table, I but I'm doing it without her so I'm misplacing her stuff

We can't get the kids into a routine or to bed in time or to eat healthy meals or to behave or to pick up after themselves. We're behind on EVERYTHING. I just can't get out of my head that we're doing so poorly with all this.

I'm a director at a restaurant so I have to work wonky hours but this is the only time in my life that I've actually enjoyed my job and I'm actually damn good at it and I can't go back to hating my job.

I don't know if I'm actually looking for advice. I just didn't know what to do. I've gotten all the book suggestions, video tutorials about parenting. But the lift to get to these things just feels insurmountable