neurodivergent people, how do you cope with wash day? Especially styling?

I dread every wash day, it ends in a melt down. By the time I'm out of the shower, I've already had enough. My hands feel like raisins, I'm so stiff from detangling, my eyes sting. I've got super thick hair so if I just scrunch in some gel n call it a day I'm left with very flat roots and no definition. If I soldier on with my lil raisin hands and dare style it in sections I get so overwhelmed I don't finish what I started. Or in the styling process I'll make rapid impulsive decisions like hey wouldn't it be fun if I wrapped my hair around the denim brush not the handle! Which ends up in me ripping my hair out. Styling process will normally end this way without the brush through utter frustration. The entire process from washing to styling is so overestimating.

This leaves me hating my hair and I end up wearing it tied up all week long which is now causing breakage and wet frizz. It's a constant cycle of self loathing.

Looking for some tips, how others survive wash day? How can you reduce styling time without losing definition?