Anyone consider taking up unhealthy habits so we die sooner?

My neuro symptoms are degenerating at a rate that just won’t stop. For six months now, only with a couple weeks here and there of plateauing. I’ve pretty much just come to terms that this is just going to keep getting worse until I’m vegetative or have some sort of adolescent early onset dementia or Parkinson’s type disease.

I know it won’t actually kill me because that’s just the nature of every chronic disease, and I can’t end my life because the trauma and PTSD could potentially cause chronic illness in my loved ones and I don’t want them to go through what I go through. So I’ve been thinking about taking up smoking & drinking maybe in hopes that it’ll kill me so I don’t have to do it myself and it’ll be less traumatic for my family