I’m Afraid of Loosing The Mental State I Had During My Pregnancy

I am 3 months Postpartum. My pregnancy during my 2nd and 3rd trimester was a godsend!

I was always an anxious person. Or I developed into an anxious person the time I had my bf, now husband.

Just so many things summing up to me becoming anxious, being in other people’s business. Always over thinking. Having fights with my husband over the smallest darnedest things. It got physical, it got ti the point where my in laws got involved. We were living with my in laws then.

I was not always like that. I guess relationships change you. I was nonchalant in my teenage years. Always kept to myself. Did not bother anyone. Yes, I had issues but I was keen to keeping those to myself. But the time I got into a relationship, everytime we had an argument, it always gets heated… shouting at each other and didn’t care if anybody hears.

And I am afraid of ever going back to that because that was exhausting. I just want that (as toxic as it was) to be a phase in our marriage. I never want that to happen ever again.

I don’t know if it was the hormones. But the 2nd and last trimester for me, mentally was very peaceful. My mind was quiet. I didn’t mind anyone but my own. I was very happy, and not anxious at all. I was so at peace with my thoughts and myself.

Now, 3 months in, I could feel my anxiety creeping back in little by little. I am trying to hold back all the anxious thoughts and old habits of thinking. But I am just afraid it could turn back to the way it was before. Please help me! How can I maintain the way that I am?