Surgery Day - Freaking out

I have my DMX today. I’m supposed to reach on 1.5 hours and I can’t get up. I just want to go back to sleep and believe none of this is real. I’m terrified suddenly and freaking out. Also having a complete existential crisis. WTF. Why is this happening to me :( I really don’t want to do this.

Update: I DID IT! I cannot thank everyone enough for taking the time to reply to me and lot of tips here that actually worked for me so thank you to all you beautiful people for helping me through this. I rely on you because no one else in my life understands what I’m going through except you all.