close to show depression

i’m about 4.5 weeks out and boy am i feeling it. my legs are inflamed, rest days are more miserable than training days, all i want is to eat constantly and looking at the clock every 5 min for meal timing- eating crumbs of anything i can find and had my first mental break crying from the gym last night. i feel numb and honestly borderline over it- i know this ain’t even the thic of it yet and im trying to keep it together - any tips i know ive gotten so far already and i literally have like 25 days but what are some things to keep your head in the game when all u want to do is sleep lol