Cal Alum’s Thoughts: Berkeley Does it Best

The University of California, Berkeley, is the cookie cutter definition of a perfect university — perfect location near Silicon Valley, San Francisco, and nature; perfect weather — nice, sunny, mild; perfect campus; perfect faculty, who are all extremely accredited and in the tops of their fields (did I mention 9, YES, NINE, N-I-N-E, Nobel Prize winning faculty CURRENTLY teaching at Cal); research POWERHOUSE; hot students, good parties (Kappa Kappa Gamma… those who know ;) — even the furries are the valedictorians of their schools. And, of course, the University of California, Berkeley, is the NUMBER ONE public university in the WORLD (UCLA will continue to cry). The Berkeley name opens doors in every country and every corner of the Earth (hell, if aliens exist, they probably know of Berkeley). It is a household name in EVERY household; people only know about Harvard because of Legally Blonde, not for any relevant reasons (did Oppenheimer go to Harvard? I think not; on the other hand, the unibomber went to Harvard — do with that information what you will). Private institutions plagued with legacy and internal agendas will never amount to the public service that a school like Berkeley provides, and small community colleges like Stanford (Brock Turner went there — do with that information what you will) will continue to live in their delusions that our rivalry is equal.

Berkeley puts all other universities, private AND public, to shame. On one hand, you have all the rich nepo babies infiltrating the ivy league — and good luck trying to get into USC if your bank account isn’t in the octuple figures (plus, it’s not even worth it); on the other hand, you have trashy, ugly, ghetto, schools like UDub, that accept the entire population of Washington and give them all inadequate educations (also, Ted Bundy went to UDub — do with that information what you will). There is no school on Earth with such distinguished faculty, ranking, location, and an unbiased admissions process. If you go to any other university, even a different UC, you will never get the education and job preparation that Berkeley provides in four years; ergo, there is NO POINT to go to college unless you are attending Cal. If you are the vast majority of people not qualified enough to get in, the only alternative I would recommend is trying to transfer in from CC (go to Stanford!).

I have been in the workforce for twenty years post-graduation, and let me tell you, no one gets work done like a GOLDEN BEAR. It has gotten to a point where if I don’t see UC Berkeley on your resume, I throw it in the garbage (presumably, every other employer does this, too). It would appear that every other college is doing a subpar job of trying to recreate Berkeley’s excellence, and man, it shows. Berkeley will open doors, UDub will close them. To all you seniors in this subreddit — go to Berkeley, or go home! Trade school isn’t that bad for the uneducated folk, and at least you won’t have a golden bear outdoing all your work. If worst comes to worst, go to Cal for grad school. Just go to Cal. Or move to Berkeley so you can revel in their glory from afar.

• Go Bears!

TLDR: No school does it like Berkeley.