I can't maintain friendships with NT women

I hate how pathetic it feels to try and present myself in a way that might make NT women like me. And if I just be myself, the judgement I face is worse. No matter what I do or how heavily or lightly I mask, I'm never able to develop a friendship with them.

I feel sad because I feel like I'm missing something important as a woman myself to not have that connection and sense of community.