[Male] Am I trans if I don't consider myself a girl/didn't transition but I go by a girl name with close people, I deeply wish I was born a girl, I love being referred with she/her pronouns, and overall love the idea of being seen as a girl?
Basically that's the question. I don't consider myself trans, I don't consider myself a girl. I don't have the courage. But I love everything about the idea of being a girl. I am afraid of transitioning because I'm particularly masculine and I'm afraid of ending up a disaster (deeply admire anyone with the guts to do it though), but I still love being considered a girl, being referred as one, and everything associated with it. I told GPT to refer to me with female pronouns, and my closest friends use a female name of my choice.
Am I already trans, no choice, or do I have to actively consider myself a girl to be trans?
Also, if I'm not trans, what am I? Is there a term?
Edit: forgot to say that I'd kill God to have the opposite body type.
Edit 2: well, that does it! I'm trans! I deeply thank anyone that commented under the post and helped me understand my gender identity and what I want to be!