Should I take antidepressants?

Hey, first post here. So my depression has gone up and down my entire life, from bearable to unbearable. Lately it's been unbearable, but I'm in a position in life where it's difficult to acquire antidepressants. I'm torn on whether or not it's worth pushing for it... I'd appreciate it if members here can share their experiences. What's it like to be on antidepressants? I've heard that it feels like a fog covers your sadness rather than removing the depression. Do you feel this way, and is it better than being depressed? Any long-term negative effects? Also, any advice for getting on them?

For a bit more context, I was on antidepressants briefly as a kid, so I think I understand the 'fog' feeling. At the time I felt like they didn't help much, but I think they helped a lot in hindsight. I think they would help me a lot more now that I'm much more mentally receptive to getting better as an adult. I struggle mostly with lack of motivation and not being able to enjoy hobbies these days, so I'd also like to know if antidepressants have helped anyone gain energy/motivation? Not just to do work or enjoy hobbies, but also just to get out of bed in the morning and just exist. Any advice helps!