I'm tired. Overwhelmed. Disappointed.

My mother is high risk and i had to call 911 to take her to the ER last night. Not one first responder had mask on. Now, in the hospital, nurses come in and pull their masks down. I shouldn't have to make myself uncomfortable by asking them to mask. You SEE ME with a mask on. Do you think I do this for fun? I bring her in because her oxygen went from 99% to 82%, and you're keeping her overnight because of her dangerous levels, but then I realize (after we both get to sleep at 6:30am and waking up at 7:15am) the oximeter you took off of her finger you DID NOT replace with a new way of measuring her oxygen,, and so in discomfort and dementia, she removed her oxygen from her nose and you don't even know what her levels were.

Her IV is hurting, but she can't have it removed because she won't let you put a new one in. I've taken her to urgent care 2 times in the past three days. Urgent care wore masks. Now I have to be masked around my mom because most people don't give a damn about protecting the vulnerable.

I'm an only child caring for my elderly single mother, and I'm exhausted. I'm tired of tiptoeing around everything so I don't get sick or have an AGS reaction. I'm tired of missing work that I've been at for less than a year. I'm tired of the new ailments that arise (Fibromyalgia, high Lipoprotein A, AGS). I'm tired of feeling judged for wanting to survive.

I'm tired.

Thanks for listening. Thanks for being here, and for helping me not feel so alone.