Please help your girly out here :((

Problem/Goal: Hindi ko maintindihan how can someone go from making you feel so loved and seeing future with you to breaking up and leaving you. I gave my all to him as in everything.

Context: I’m (21f) and my bf then/ex now (23m) sorry if medyo magulo. Pero I’ll try my best.

We had a wonderful relationship for 11 months. We really di like each other and loved each other.

Gusto ko lang malinawan. Please tell me the truth of what you observe.

The beginning of our relationship he was very eager and been telling me na he is date to marry and ako na yung nakikita niya sa future niya. In my case I’m still observing him we are both still in college siya naman nag stop siya nung pandemic and resumed studying. He gave me a promise ring 2 months into talking but we know we both like each other talaga. I was just overwhelmed nung time na yun but I am happy that he sees me in my future. Sinagot ko siya weeks after.

Then he asked me later on if may future plans ba ako samin I said yes I have long term plans for us. Pero hindi ko pa makita yung sarili ko na magpapakasal ksi it’s still too early to tell. He got sad nung time na yun.

Sa umpisa pa lang relationship namin we had fights na as in malalang fights. When I opened up about him things about my past tas di niya matanggap and said hurtful things. Seloso siya and very reactive and oa sa mga bagay. Inoobserve ko kung kaya ko ba itolerate and I know he is capable of change naintindihan ko kasi he never had a healthy relationship before na physically abused siya may peklat pa and got cheated on. Kaya nung tinanong niya ako if may future plans ba ako for us, I am still skeptical. Siya naman sabi niya bakit ka pa andito kung wala din pala tayong patutunguhan ganon. Tas inisip niya na dapat siya din daw hindi ganon ung isip niya kasi ako nga daw hindi ako sure.

Despite seeing those things I continued our relationship because I loved him and he is a good person and very ma effort and caring. Tho, when we fight he would break up with me and then come back later on. Sometimes, in personal makikipagbreak siya and then he would walk out tapos maya maya babalik siya sakin. I would just stay in place kasi hindi ko alam ano gagawin ko.

I can still tolerate kasi committed na ako sa kanya and he is a sweet and nice guy. Our fights would often be like him feeling na hindi ko siya nirereciprocate and me asking ano pa kulang sa ginagawa ko and he wouldn’t answer me.

Then there come a time he broke up with me biglaan. Magka-away kami a week before tapos I tried fixing us, I thought we’re okay na. Tas nafeel ko na distant siya a week after nag ask for space for 2 weeks. After 3 days I message his mom asking how is he, hindi pala alam ng mom niya na magka-away ulit kami, kasi the last time akala din ng mama niya okay na kami. And then na iyak yung mother niya, tapos tinatanong siya bakit daw ako kinakawawa nagalit siya right then and there tapos nakipagbreak na agad. I waited for that 2 weeks mark.

Previous attempts: No cheating involved. I begged and asked for answers and tried to fix us, pero napagod daw siya sa relationship namin. Sinabi ko kasi na I have long term plans for us, I know we can grow together and I see him in my future na. Pinuntahan ko siya first week ng december asking for peace and clarity, and then he told me na antayin ko siya so I waited.

Before magpasko nagkabalikan kami, before new year nagbreak kami and dun ko din nalaman na may naka close siyang girl sa work niya nung time na nag break kami tapos dun daw siya nagrarant. Days before kami magkabalikan nagpasama daw siya sa girl sa hospital mag pacheck up kasi di daw niya alam gagawin at nung sinabi jiya sa girl na babalikan pa niya ako kasi mahal pa niya ako tigilan na siya sabi ng babae sa kanya na “I can love you better then her”.

Ang sabi niya, ready na daw ako sa mga bagay na ready siya noon. Ngayon hindi na daw siya ready at drained at pagod na siya. He was consistent tho in efforts from beginning hanggang mag break kami. Until he doesn’t see the point of efforting daw kasi lagi naman daw kasalanan niya. Sabi niya din na he loved me too much daw na hindi na niya kilala sarili niya, and this time daw gusto niyang piliin yung sarili niya at mahalin muna sarili niya. I saw his efforts tho talaga.