what is the worst part of adhd?

For me, having adhd is like a war in my own head, i want to be able to handle things the way that others do with such a “black and white perspective” however i have always felt like my perspective of life is so full of “colour”… Things such as my friendships, relationships, goals, tasks and so on are never just simple, i always have to dive so deep into detail about everything and overanalyse everything, it drives me insane!! I also end up feeling like nobody is good enough for me in things such as friendships and relationships because they often “lack emotional intelligence and empathy” which is something i believe to have a lot of. i feel like i have high expectations of myself and others and if they don’t reach that i dont want them in my life which ends up in me being depressed as i’ve pushed so many people away, it leads me to crave a neurotypical mindset as im sure “normal” people dont even see the things i see. is this just me?? pls let me know.