Emotional Person But Emotionally Blocked Actor

Hi friends,

Long, meandering post incoming. I'm not sure if something like this has been posted before (sorry if that's the case!), but I wanted to know if anyone else has ever had this problem and can offer some advice, because I'm fed up and don't know what else to do or who to ask for help.

I'm an extremely emotional person. I always have been (I'm a water sign after all!) I cry at least once a day: from feeling my feelings too hard, daydreaming about putting myself in other's shoes, or even just listening to music and singing. Case in point, crying is not something I'm uncomfortable doing.

But as an actor, it's a totally different story: I get emotionally blocked, and then I struggle to cry. I'll do all of my packing/character work, and feel an emotional connection while doing it, but once I get in front of the camera or get onstage, there's nothing. So I continue to just connect with my scene partner/play my actions, but even then the emotion's not there. The most I can get is misty eyed, which then makes me try to push for more emotion, which just isn't good for anyone. I struggled with this all throughout my time in drama school, and it was frustrating watching my classmates be able to get there emotionally, when I could barely get my eyes wet. It always made me self conscious: especially as a female, where being able to cry always seemed to be the most valuable skill you could have as an actor, and everyone seemed to have it except me.

I've finally started to audition for film/tv, and it's even worse. It's frustrating not being able to show that emotion when the script requires it, and it makes me feel like a terrible actor. I've developed so much anxiety about it, every time a script mentions having to cry all I can think about is how I won't be able to get there. And of course all the roles I seem to be getting auditions for require crying and tears, and I feel like if I can't get there during the self tape, how would I ever be able to get there while on set? I know that crying isn't necessarily required when a script says it, and that it's about coming from a place or truth, but I hate that I can't get there at all. I guess it's the perfectionist in me...

So my question is, how can I learn to unblock myself and get to an emotional place when acting?I just feel really stuck, and even though my current teachers are great, they haven't really been able to help me. Does any one have any experience with this, or any tips on how I can get unstuck (besides learning to cry on cue, which hasn't been going well for me either.) Thanks!!