lost.

i’m really confused and lost on how someone who seemed like such a loving and faithful man of god when i was a teenager,could be someone who i am now in a relationship with and is not even close to being that person anymore. it feels like fraud. there’s so much i don’t understand. my therapist gave me a project to help me deal with repressed emotions surrounding my situation. i can’t stop blaming myself even when a licensed professional is validating my experiences. i just feel fucking lost