The ethics of "leaving behind" non-CC friendships

Hi CC Cool Cats!

Just wanted to solicit a little advice from the sage members of this sub. I'm sure most here would agree that the last few years have been really hard on our social lives. I had existing friends who I would see virtually, or distanced outdoors, for the first couple years of the pandemic, and was fairly happy overall with those relationships, as we seemed to be on the same side of the issues and appeared to have similar ethics regarding the spread of disease.

However, as we all know, the last year and a half revealed that a lot of those friends weren't as on the same page ethically as we may have assumed. I definitely went through a "dark night of the soul" with this issue last summer, as the vast majority of my existing friends had fully reverted back to "business as usual", meaning essentially vax and relax. I do have one friend who takes a decent amount of precautions, and although she's not at the same level of strictness as me, I do acknowledge there's a spectrum of precaution, and am fairly on board with her in that regard.

Over the past several months, I've been fortunate enough to meet a wonderful local community of CC people, and have been working to build friendships with a few of the members one-on-one, as well as attending group events. It's been very healing for my nervous system, and I find myself feeling more deeply connected to these people I've known for 6 months than to friends I've known for several years. There's just a certain mutual respect for one another, a comfort knowing that we share a similar worldview/ethics, and the relief that comes with knowing I won't be killed/disabled by them, and that I won't be shunned for turning down a dinner indoors, or having to navigate precautions without seeming totally insane. I'm so privileged that I've found these folks, they're beautiful souls and have been one of the few sources of light in a very dark time.

I have to be honest that the more I hang out with them, the less I want to engage with my "grandfathered in" non-cautious friends. I could in theory keep those friendships "simmering", but I have such limited social energy that I have trouble keeping up with too many people. But the root of the issue is that, in my heart, I simply have no desire to be around them anymore. Whether it's rational or not, I feel kind of betrayed by them, and that we're inhabiting such different realities that I don't wish to put in the effort to maintain the relationships any longer. I don't feel a lot of bitterness, really, more... indifference at this point.

But then I start feeling very guilty about the thought of moving on and leaving them behind. It's not as if they're awful people, and in many ways they're very caring and thoughtful. They check in on me, would offer support in a heartbeat if I needed them, etc. The relationships have become very one-sided, because I don't reach out or initiate getting together as much these days, and I feel bad about it. I don't want to hurt them, and I don't really see the need for some kind of big confrontation where I end the relationship. But I have been pulling away as other connections have deepened, and I'm sure they've noticed by now.

I guess I just don't know what the "rules" are in cases like these, and I feel a little out to sea. I tend to think of friendships as being fluid; sometimes people come into your life for a few years, sometimes for life, usually somewhere in between those two. But a lot of the people I know seem to think that all friendships should be for life.

Is it okay to accept that you're in a radically different place and move on from old friends who are generally still good to you, except on this one massive issue? Is it justifiable to dip out of these relationships, even if they're technically willing to accommodate my safety requests? I think a lot of us might be going through this transitional period with out relationships right now, so I wanted to get your thoughts and insights on it. Sorry for the tome, and thanks for reading if you've made it this far.