Fiancé’s family wants to be at my first babys (unmedicated) labour

Entire in law family of 5 additional people at the delivery room for unmedicated first labour?

So me (22F) and fiancé (36M) have been considering having a baby. I am 100% wanting to since I’ve wanted to be a mom since I was 9 years old, for those worried about my age I am extremely mature for my age, and am in therapy (have been for several years) to resolve trauma and support a good mental state for myself as I transition into thinking of becoming a mother(and motherhood). So the question that comes in here is, can I, how weird would it be and what boundaries should I set since my bfs entire family is hoping to experience the labour with us. He has 3 younger siblings L(?,Male), B (25,F) M (27,F)with a baby daughter (1,5 F) and is pregnant with her second (which I hope is a boy, since her daughter looks so much like my guy and Id want to see her boy) and she has a hubby G (?,M) And then his parents (50s) With M’s labour with her daughter, my husband and all of the siblings and the parents were there. I’m not sure to what extent and know they waited outside during birth, I’m not sure how much time they spent in the room with her, waiting but M had an epidural I would want to attempt labour without anything, if I was having a hard time trying laughing gas This means that my labour and delivery might look different, I’ll be whining, bouncing, walking,on my hands and knees, crying etcetera , so I don’t know how I feel about the whole family being there. I know I don’t feel comfortable with my partners dad being in there, having a 50 year old man looking at me during labour, potentially seeing something like a check, makes me feel uncomfy. That being said, his little sister Brookie, is my best friend out of their family, she lives in NY and we live in Cali,(the family is from NC, with M ,her family living in SC) I would honestly love her to hold my hand and be there with my partner and baby daddy, they are close and I adore them . M seems great but I don’t feel quite comfortable having her as a support person, but I wouldn’t mind her seeing labour, my partners mom is a long topic. My mom won’t be there, she’s terrible in crisis situations and I don’t think I’d feel comfortable with her there And I don’t know if I feel comfortable with mil stepping in, it still would feel like she’s there for grand baby and her son, not actually for me (which I know Brookie will be there for me, and secondary for her brother and as an aunt ) As for L I don’t really care as long as he doesn’t look at anything. I just feel like I want the support of family but I don’t feel like I know these people well enough to have them witness me labour my child, on one hand it is a gift to my partner who’s super good with his family. Do I put boundaries on who can come, like asking Father in law not to come? Then that’s mean, he’s the only person to ask out and its not like I have beef Taking away his dad when he becomes a dad seems cold and Fil could support Mil and I feel like I’d put her and partner in a sad position. I want to be part of their family, and experience this intimacy , I just don’t feel like it would totally work for my birth experience. Second off, them being there for the birth will be complicated,we’d either have to fly them out for babe watch, which I don’t want them staying with us the last weeks and I can’t tell them to go to a motel or rental, plus it would be expensive (we can afford it but I don’t like to spend extra money 😅, and I just don’t feel like it makes sense. Me giving birth in North/South Carolina seems like a sweet idea, I’d love to let my baby share a home state with their dad . Medical care is worse in the south, compared to our state, and I have a complicated medical history, making me a high risk preg😕 . And I don’t want to live with any of them so we’d have to rent something out for 2-3 months and have people over (another post will be how to tell my family in law they can’t hold my newborn 😅 ) As you can tell it’s a bunch of decisions and variables and I don’t want to break up the fam. Any ideas? Thank you for reading

EDIT: I’m pregnant and overjoyed, despite the load of negativity I have taken what you have to say to heart. Nobody is perfect when they decide to be parents, I’m going to treasure this little one and hope he/she sticks

Summary: should I exclude partners dad on his own? Where should I give birth? Should I establish boundaries or maybe give up my hope of a med free birth to please What role can mil take? Thank you, mamas I know you’ll love this and have advice to give. Love you all 💋🫶🏼 Edit, yall my partners mom genuinely is not crazy and has been nothing but good to me, I don’t believe she would have any resentment towards me if I didn’t include them. She’s so happy we’re getting married and hasn’t once rushed us on grankids. No toxic mils here 🫶🏼

SO DETAILS N COMMON MISCONCEPTIONS We’ve been together 3 years, I am 22 (10 months) Got pregnant (accident, I was on depo), miscarried, tried next cycle, BAM, miscarry at late. We take a break, do therapy, grieve. I want 3 months of not trying not preventing. Now I’m 10 to 12 weeks according to test, which is weird as I’ve gotten my period last month this is my first missed so idk what’s going on. I am financially independent and stable, OWN a house (fully paid off). We live at his house. Both frequently travel for work and have our own lives/circles. I have close friends, a therapist (for no reason I live in CA, this is just mandatory here) and my fiancé did therapy after the babies .

We have been in monthly CTherapy, as I think it’s healthy for us to have our space to talk things out with an objective perspective, (each couple should). There has been no abuse, neglect red flags,no controlling, narcissistic behaviour . His family is very involved in his life, not controlling, yet not our relationship, they aren’t asking to be present, this is my cycle of anticipating other peoples wants and needs and trying to fulfil them . No signs of cheating,wants to give me a prenup where I keep my share and get a yearly bonus for the years I’m a SAHM, and my share of his belongings more he wants to take care of me. If you can’t believe that, that says more about your situation and your prejudice .

I thank everybody for the comments, I’m not blind I can see there are boundaries I need to place, and put myself at the front of my mind. These are things I’ll keep in mind. For those cussing and wishing me and my baby things, you need to take a look at the mirror when you think about abuse

Thank you so much! No hard feelings, I’ve seen great advice here.