Sexual fantasies.. are they just fantasies ?

I havent even had my first kiss yet (lm almost 19 lmao) but im pretty confident that im attracted to women.

Obviously based on what i just said, u can guess that im also a virgin and have done nothing sexual with a girl whatsoever. But i do think about sex a lot.

Usually i think of myself being the dominant one. But, i also feel like its kind of impossible for a person like me, who hasnt even had their first kiss yet, being the dominant one while having sex for the FIRST time.

So my question basically is, are your sexual thoughts your actual preferences ? Would i actually be the dominant one if i happened to have sex with a girl, or is it just a fantasy ?

I know im overthinking it and there is no way to know for sure. But im very curious to see what u guys have to say based on your experiences !

(BLAH BLAH BLAH.. u dont have to read the rest)

A long time ago, i remember someone had told me that a lot of times what we THINK that we seek in a partner, is usually what type of person YOU wanna be, and not your partner. Lets say, you think to yourself “i want a girl thats kind, smart and has a good style”, in reality you dont want your gf to have those characteristics, YOU wanna be like that.

So similarly, i was wondering if in reality i would prefer to be the submissive one, instead of dominant during sex.

Honestly this is pretty embarrassing and I dont want you guys thinking im weird. Im just trying to get to know myself better. Even tho i do know that its best if i wait for that time to come and see how things will go instead of overthinking it.