Lost in life, don't know what to do

I am 30F, single, living solo in an apartment I bought with a bank loan. I have good people around me, some dear members of family too. I have my dear cat.

On the other hand, I feel so stuck.

I don't have academic degree, I work as a self-taught developer. Right now, I'm stuck on this job I find soulless. Only bright side of it are some nice people I met along the way and that it pays well... But I simply can not do that anymore. Since I was little I was sensitive child but I found some kind of ways to cope. I don't feel that anymore.

I fought all this time. To not be a part of the statistics of broken poor homes. To not allow this world to break my spirit. To work on myself and help others whenever I can. To spread positivity. But I feel like I'm done now, a black hole. Job that once made me happy, now I detest the system it feeds. And I know I don't have it that bad, I'm healthy, have a roof above my head, dear people around me. But I can't shake this feeling I am not doing what I should and could. When I was younger I had a drive to make something out of my life, I was fighting to create conditions in which people around me and me can prosper. I knew that's what I want and I thought I knew how to do that. But no longer. I feel like I'm on the top of the cliff, there's rain and wind and all I do is sit and wait. For a miracle. I know I have to change something but I don't know what.

And now I'm rambling, if anyone even reads this, I'm sorry. I'm trying to put my perspective and context in whatever number of sentences I can muster.

I am tired of corporate world, I am tired of numbers, budgeting, my self-esteem, even though I don't want to admit it out loud, I feel is low. I see I'm spiraling towards depression. I feel my whole life was one big fight. When I got to the safe ground, something new always came. And I'm grateful for that, I am not complaining. At this fight, I just don't know what to do and I always had some kind of answer at least...

I am just tired and I don't want to lose my will to fight and live.