Snipped. Happy. Can’t tell a soul.

So I got the snip 2 days ago, and the recovery is going well. I’m 44, divorced, child free, and so excited for this new era of my life. But unfortunately, I can’t tell anyone.

My mom still bugs me about having grandchildren, even though I’ve hinted to her all my life that I don’t want kids. (I do have a sister, not sure if she still wants kids, but she’s 42, so that ship may have sailed too.) My dad actually had a vasectomy after we were born, and I’d like to at least talk to him about it, but I know just telling him would make him sad. Even though they both can figure out they’re not getting grandkids, I know they don’t want the certainty of knowing. They wouldn’t be happy for me if I told them.

All my friends are married and have kids. Last time I talked with my closest friend, I told him I wanted to get the snip, and he lectured me about “regret” and the “responsibility of men to have children”. I politely changed the subject. I wouldn’t tell him because I know he wouldn’t be happy for me (probably low key jealous because he’s still married with 2 kids and struggling). Plus his wife is still friends with my ex wife, and I don’t want her to know anything about me.

So I’m basically posting on Reddit because there’s no one else to share this with. I’m not going to post on social media, because it’s a lil TMI, and it’s not something I can work into casual conversation with acquaintances. I did tell a couple younger guys at my job beforehand, who thought it was smart, but other than that, it’s like the weird secret I have.

On social media, everyone with kids posts every waking moment of their kids life. I don’t even see things about my actual friends anymore, it’s just their kid’s birthdays, their kid’s Halloween costumes, their kid’s first fill in the blank, etc. I’m half tempted to post myself, with my ring-less left hand, holding a bag of peas on my lap, with a big ass smile. But no one I know will be happy for me.

I guess that’s ok. But why is it so lonely to focus on / care about yourself?