This one goes out to you

MY BATSHEBA MY LOST LOVE MY HEART MY CORAZON BREAKS thems the breaks though we tried I lost my best friend my partner and needless to say I'm mourning in life the death of our relationship. Cold embrace if I could have changed things, it would only be that I wasn't able to change everything that was negative all at once, but who can. I'm off kilter smoking reds through a filter way too much chain like choking it down as my ulcer is bothered by the smoke. Our last experience before last was hot. Too bad there weren't more times when we were intimate in multiple ways. But I felt the push pull a gap between us widening I felt pretty lost at times wondering if it was just the idea of me or if it was really real. I don't know or ever will fully know and I'll make peace I don't hate you I intensely and maddening sought out not to love you but I did. I had given up on love it was something while the good while it lasted until things efforts dimmished and things left unsaid, unheard and I'll leave this unsent for now or maybe just let things lie and let things run their course however they may happen and realize that maybe it wasn't you or me that ruined us it was different communication styles and disconnection.