I left

You think I don’t mourn you? I feel the loss of you every single day. The future we dreamed about, the one that’ll never exist. I know people think the one who ends it doesn’t get to be sad, but they must not know what it feels like to break your own heart just to save yourself.

I didn’t start this thinking it would end. I thought you were it for me, the one. Until you showed me you weren’t. Until we both proved we couldn’t be.

We tried. God, we tried. But no matter how hard we fought, we were speaking two different languages, your words never landed, and mine never reached you. When things got too heavy, too tangled, I kept pointing it out, hoping we could untie the knots together.

But every time I opened my mouth, you weren’t listening. You were somewhere else, your phone, your thoughts, anywhere but here, with me. I spoke, you heard, but you didn’t listen.

I could write you a list a mile long, every reason we couldn’t have made it in the long run. But none of that stops the ache. None of that stops me from missing you, from thinking about you every damn day.

Just because I left doesn’t mean I didn’t love you. I did. I loved you so much it broke me to walk away. I didn’t leave to hurt you or to teach you a lesson. I left because I finally learned mine.

I’ll always carry you with me, in some quiet, messy corner of my heart. That’s the most painful part, knowing love wasn’t enough to save us.

Last post got taken down so here it is.. again.