Your fault

It's absolutely crazy to me that you could write novels for someone who didn't give a shit about you, but when you HAD an amazing gf you couldn't be bothered to write two sentences. It baffles my mind that you could go above and beyond for a complete STRANGER, and the girl you were friends with for over a year... you barely showed up more than once a week. You could make videos and plan vacations with others, but you couldn't be bothered to figure out a movie that SHE would want to see with gift cards that you were just trying to get rid of. (And who doesn't even offer to share their large tub of popcorn?) You stood her up, and treated her like she was just an afterthought. And she's supposed to believe you when you say you didn't drug her? When she's seen all the manipulative half truths you say to other peoples faces? She knows you better than you know yourself. How easily you forgot. Did you really think triangulating with other women was going to push her towards you? What kind of backwards thinking is that? All you did was push her away. Is she supposed to feel sorry that you're a fat ugly loser now? Is she supposed to bend over backwards to keep responding to your dumbass mind games? Congratulations. You hurt her... in hundreds of ways that you were to oblivious to even notice. Good on you for getting your revenge. Does it make you feel like more of a man? She broke up with you because she was sick of all the bullshit. YOUR bullshit. Not once did she lie. Not once did she play games. That was all you. She was there. No matter what. And you never were. And you think you deserve to stop feeling shame and regret? Like she was just some kind of scribble you can erase. Whatever you gotta do dude. Life is gonna suck so hard for you without her. You don't even realize what you threw away. And for what? Was the grass greener? Hell no. You want to live in a world of fake turf. Have at it. That woman was the realest thing you ever had. And you said she was just messing with your head. You were messing up your own head. You actually think she just jumps into bed with people for the hell of it? You think sex means NOTHING to her? You were bad in bed and she was STILL willing to work on it with you and try. And she deserved revenge for what? Giving you a chance? And another chance? And another? You couldn't get four months right and you expected her to believe you were gonna get forever right? While on the other side of the country? What the actual fuck is WRONG with you? If she was petty.. maybe just maybe.. it was a normal reaction to the shit YOU were doing to her. But mr can't ever be held accountable for anything thinks he's the only one owed a free pass? He thinks he's the only one worthy of grace? Where was yours for her when she was blowing up your phone begging you to tell her WHY? You coukd never be bothered. You can move mountains for everyonr else, but never for her. She watched you and died a little inside everytime she had to ask herself.. when's it MY turn? When's he gonna do something nice for me? YOU never cared. You were never there. You never showed up for her. And now she will never show up for you ever again. And that's YOUR fault.