I have been completely humbled by a bruised cervix.

I'd always heard of people talking about getting a bruised cervix during sex and I thought it wasn't that bad. I don't have a particularly sensitive one, paps don't bother me or anything.

WELL. Tonight during sex, I was having some pain but figured it was just gas pain or a full bladder from having to pee. After we were done, the pain continually got worse and worse. I tend to have a high pain tolerance but within a couple of minutes I was involuntarily grimacing and sweating. I then lost the ability to stand/sit/walk and ended up crouched on the floor. I started to get nauseous due to the pain and how hot I was feeling from sweating and crawled to the bathroom. I sat on the toilet thinking it was gas pain but that caused cramps to radiate up through me (like lightning crotch I think). I ended up laying on the bathroom floor as still as possible in the fetal position for a good 20 minutes trying not to throw up.

Eventually, after ibuprofen and pepto bismol (still unsure of the cause, thought it was gas) I started to improve and started violently shaking for about 10 minutes. I managed to slowly shuffle to the couch where I had more bouts of lightning crotch for a while and now i'm FINALLY resting comfortably unless I try to move too much.

I have not been in such an undignified state in a long time and you know it's bad when the germaphobe wants nothing more than to lay on the dirty bathroom floor. Consider me absolutely humbled.