ED and TTC

Hi everyone. I’m posting here because I don’t have anyone to discuss this with in my life due to privacy.

My husband and I have only been TTC for around 3 months, with this month having a larger focus on fertility windows with ovulation testing etc. This is where the problem has arose. My husband has occasionally had issues with ED, but more like 25% of the time we tried to have sex. Now since we are actively TTC he is having ED 90% of the time.

I don’t believe this is a medical problem (though he is seeing a doctor about this just in case), but a psychological problem. He can easily get an erection during “spontaneous sexy moments” but struggles when we plan sex. I assume it’s the pressure of the situation which I totally get.

It happened again last night and he cried and I just felt so helpless. I don’t know what to say or do to try and comfort him properly during these moments. I am not frustrated or upset with the situation, I’m just heartbroken for him since he seems so upset by this. He thinks he is failing and I keep trying to reassure him this is not the case at all.

He has ordered viagra and we’ve discussed home insemination so he is more than happy to try to work around the issue. I guess I’m just looking for some reassurance from people that have partners with ED but have managed to conceive? How did you deal with it with your partner to try and make it easier on him?

I’m not going to discuss my fertility/ovulation windows anymore with him to try and take some pressure off. I’ve asked if he wants to stop TTC for a short period of time, or indefinitely, and he’s adamant he wants a baby and wants to carry on.

Thanks all.