Boyfriend doesn't want to get married after 11 years together, despite saying he wanted to marry me when we first got together

My bf (26m) and me (27f) have been together for 11 years, we have lived together for 9 years, and both have good jobs, and stable income.

For context: 2 years into our relationship he proposed to me and I said yes, a few months after that, he cheated on me, and we broke up. We got back together a couple months later, but agreed to hold off being engaged again, until we were sure everything was ok and the relationship was healed (we were really young so I don't hold this situation against him).

Fast forward 9 years later, and despite me consistently expressing how important it is to me since we first got together, he now openly states that his stance has changed and he doesn't believe in marriage as a concept. Whenever I bring it up, there is always some different excuse "it's too much money" "we're still young" "I'm sure i'll do it one day" etc... but today when I mentioned it again, he said "if you care more about a piece of paper than me, then you might as well just leave".

I felt this was a really low blow, as if I only cared about the paper, I'd have left him years ago, and I'm obviously still here because I love him. But the bit that gets me the most is that he is constantly dangling this "one day" narrative, that he *might propose to me one day, yet also says he no longer believes in it. My personal opinion is that he never intends on marrying me, and the "one day" narrative is just his way of keeping me in limbo so I don't have to make the guy wrenching choice between marriage or him.

Few disclaimers:

I am worried about WHY he doesn't want to marry me, the WHY would be the reason I'd choose to leave, not the fact alone that he doesn't want to marry me. I'm worried that I'll let the paranoia of what his reasons are, turn into resent.

In reality, I'm not sure I am strong enough to leave him. I love him so so much and I think I'd just end up spending the rest of my life with a whole where that dream is, as that's a smaller whole than the one he'd leave behind.

A few of the reasons I want to get married are: 1. Commitment - unlike my bf, I come from a family full of failed marriages, usually due to one person changing massively after marriage, I'd rather know sooner than later, that my boyfriend will be able to handle the commitment, and not in another 10 years if he finally decides to propose, then find out he's gonna change 2. Morbid but necessary stuff like if one of us were to fall ill, I'd want him to have everything I own and make all the decisions, but legally, even with power of attorney, there's a chance my family can override that unless we're married. 3. The wedding: I've always dreamed of having a wedding, being surrounded by both our families, my dad walking me down the aisle etc... superficial I know, but something I've always dreamed of. 4. Principal: we both started this relationship with the same stance on marriage, mine hasn't changed, he has. I feel like I've been 100% loyal and loving since day one, and I feel a certain level of entitlement and worth, where I haven't changed my stance, and have done nothing but earn the right to be his wife...

Opinions please? I see his side but I just can't bring myself to be ok with it... Hoping other opinions might help me work out what I'm supposed to do.