I feel so hopeless about dating

It just seems impossible. I’m pre-T, so I only want to date bi men (people who will still be attracted to me after I transition). So my dating pool is already extremely small: bisexual men who are Christian.

I haven’t had good luck dating people from my social circles, so for the past year or so I’ve tried online dating off and on. It’s awful. Sometimes I will meet someone I like and we’ll go on one or two dates, but I’m constantly getting ghosted or rejected.

I don’t think it’s because I’m ugly or off-putting, since I believe I’m pretty average in my looks and social skills. I have a life, hobbies and talents that I’m proud of, and I work hard to be kind even though I’m not super outgoing.

Naturally, I begin to wonder if I’m still single because God is unhappy with me. Maybe I can’t find a partner because my trans-ness is wrong and I would be “toxic” to another person, or because God knows I’d be tempted to have sex before being married. Or maybe it’s just because I’m not close enough to God, and I’m supposed to learn to be a better Christian first.

I don’t really feel like any of these anxieties are logical, because I know I can’t earn God’s favor by my own righteousness. But it’s so hard seeing all my childhood friends being married, engaged and in committed relationships. It hurts to be the only single person at gatherings. I put myself out there enough that I feel like, statistically, I should have met at least one person that I’m compatible with at this point lmao.