the worst feeling (maybe)

i have a lot of tics which prevent me from speaking- head jerks, breathing tics, clicking, etc. and recently they've all been super bad, and it's taking me about 3 minutes just to be able to get out a word to start a sentence.

i know my friends are trying their best to be understanding, but if i stop in a sentence because of tics, some of them will just start speaking after a moment. or i want to speak but can't, and then the conversation has moved on.

i'm starting to dread speaking, and i feel so ignored even though i know they don't mean it.