Feeling overwhelmed

(17M here) Touch starvation really started to hit me about two years ago, and it has never gotten any better... I have tried to tell people around me how I feel, but all I've got was ignorance really... The only people that understand what I'm longing for are unfortunately long distanced... I really don't know what to do about it, I feel like I'm talking about my feelings too much to online friends, and I don't want to be annoying to them... I just want to feel even that tiny bit of warmth when talking about my feelings... I've been taken advantage of my feelings by an older person, which really messed me up in the aspect of physical touch too, craving it, yet fearing it a bit... I feel like breaking down and screaming sometimes... I wish I could cry in a trusted person's arms. To be held and... feel warm and safe... I... I'm rambling again, am I not? sorry... I know this post might just seem like me trying to squeeze some empathy, and that it might not even get far, I just wanted to vent a bit...