I have intrusive thought ocd and social anxiety,i am about to try ketamine therapy,please share your experience.

Please also tell what it feels like during a ketamine infusion,as i am spooked by all the stories of people becoming transmitted information or becoming aliens in pods.disconnecting from reality is scary to me and i dont feel i would handle that well. On the other hand ive been suffering for so many years.lexapro reduces my social anxiety but doesnt even touch ocd. There is a family history of anxiety disorders in my family,but i dont know if ketamine can help with familial anxiety. I have tried clomipramine,bupropion,buspirone,mushrooms,and ssris,to no avail. i am also tapering very slowly from benzodiazepine addiction (self medicating for anxiety) and am at a low dose of rivotril at night. During the day i have mind freezing anxiety that makes me unable to do a single thing,even though i try to power through. Just looking at my kids induces anxiety in me,though i couldn't put my finger on why,even if my life depended on it. My ocd is very bad,made up of intrusive thoughts that make me believe that what i am doing or saying isnt right (fun..) and if i try to anyway,the anxiety that comes is literally terriblei. it seeps into my thought processes,bringing this fear,that i cannot do this particular thing that i am doing right now.the thought induces severe anxiety,which causes my mind to just repel itself from the process,which causes,you guessed it,inability to do or say that particular thing. Its awful. So sorry for the rant,please share your experiences for ocd and social anxiety. I do not want to get my hopes up. I am also scared of the infusion experience and things just getting worse. I also would not wish it on my worst enemy to have a placebo effect from the infusion,feel better for a week,only to realize that it was just a placebo effect and that, ha ha,it doesnt work.