01/14/2025 Rollercoaster of a Year Leaving me Whiplashed Part 2

This is a continuation of my first post about my first half of 2024.

MID-LATE MAY: I got hired at my new job. It's very similar to my last job, just more elevated, straight forward and pays better. The tips are INSANE too. Plus it's a low level government job so I can get some perks.

I saw a childhood friend before she left the country to go house hunting in her home country. I'm so proud of her success and achievements.

JUNE: Old family dog started acting weird. I thought she was gonna die but she seems okay now. I was socially frustrated because all the people I wanna hang out with aren't available or went silent for a while. None of my Tinder matches had been active for at least a month. But all of them are either freelance people, high demand laborers or have multiple jobs. Most of them I know have their own businesses to take care of so I am proud of them for their achievements. In a weird way I've discovered how much I desire to be social with the right people I feel comfy with. I was gonna meet up with another tinder match but he suggested that he'd bring his friends ashes to our date to "watch us".

JULY: I matched with a local delivery guy. He's a fine dude but we didn't feel much of a spark. He bought be a chocolate croissant though so that was nice.

My dad randomly bought me a basic mic/audio set. I've been window shopping for a new mic for a while but I put it on the back burner. It was a nice surprise.

A fun little project I collaborated on with an online friend finally released after a year or so of production.

AUGUST: I made an unlikely friend through Tinder. We regularly chat with each other, at first with phone calls but now with messages.

Had an actual fun date with someone. We're honest about what type of connection we want. Casual, fun, open, friendly. He travels a lot so we chat whenever we can.

SEPT: I attended a zine fest. I came to the realization that my little self-publication dreams could be achieved through making my own zines. I didn't want to do it through Amazon and I can't believe it took me this long to realize this method😭. I met some cool people BUT I ran into my tinder crush that I connected really well with back in April. I knew there was a small chance he'd be there because he's part of the local art scene but I made 2 whole posts about that specific run in.

At this point I had an emotional creative breakdown and paused all my creative endeavors. It was a much needed step back.

OCT: We officially got new owners at my job. It was gradually transitioning for 3 months but this was the first month they had full ownership. Things are gradually changing primarily for the better.

I went to a social-political vigil and I saw my tinder crush. I didn't say "hi" to him because I thought it would be inappropriate to do so at such an event.

Someone I cared deeply about in college who basically disappeared for 5 years suddenly showed up in my feed. We had mutual crushes on each other but never went out. I don't have any nonplatonic feelings for him anymore. Literally at the time people were contacting me to ask where he was because, apparently, I was one of the few people he talked to even though I was just as confused about his whereabouts. I did not interact with his page though.

I realized that I've cried more this year than any other time in my 27 years of life. I was so used to keeping everything so much in check and expected to be the emotionally strong type that I haven't been feel things like I should have. This year was my breaking point.

I started wishing that the part of my brain that feels non-platonic infatuation/love would be lobotomized because I don't think I can take this rare, disruptive and debilitating feeling anymore.

To try to get myself out of a funk, I went on a date with a smart math doctor guy. We felt silly fun chemisty, however, he dropped the "L" word in the middle of the date. I didn't really respond but, crazily enough, we continued the date and still had fun.

I was finally able to get a drawing tablet I had been saving up for about a year and a half.

NOV: I got accepted into a local art exhibit. I met some cool artist and made some cool connections. The following 2 days I went to a major art event. Saw some cool independent artist merch, bands, film projects and so on. I ran into some zine folks from the September event. I saw my crush on both days but didn't talk to him until day 2. It was only a 5 minute conversation at most and a mutual we have was there. I has to leave for a workshop but I swear to God when I happened to lool back at something looking I noticed him and the mutual staring at me then quickly looking away. Regardless if I saw my crush or not, I had a fun 3 day art weekend.

I somehow burned my throat in a random freak acid reflux incident.

DEC: Shortly after the throat burn I caught a horrible congestion heavy cold that literally everyone in my work and home had. I couldn't talk right for 2 weeks. It lasted 3 weeks total for me. The longest it lasted for anyone around me was 6 weeks.

Dr math broke up with me while we were planning a date because he got put into an arranged marriage. I can make a whole ass separate post about this situation.

My dear great aunt had a stroke that paralyzed her. However, she is recovering very well.

Lastly, I actually had a chill as fuck Christmas.

I'm still grateful for the good things that happened to me this year. However, I can't deny how overly eventful it was. I did not expect to have so many interesting relationship related bs to happen. As of now in the new year, I'm technically in a better mindset that I was last year. I'm going to be more honest with those around me and with what I want for myself and I'm going to be more ambitious with my goals.