Tired of the privilege that my brother gets as the SON.

I’m a girl and my brother is a few years older than me. Once I hit puberty everything changed, my life slowly became miserable. It went from kids, to son and daughter, boy and girl real fast. I’m supposed to learn how to cook and do the cooking while being a teen whereas he has never once held a rolling pin even though he has a job now, not once even when he was a teen. Mother gives the excuse that “he’ll learn”, well….! I’ll learn too. Itni urgency kya hein mere saath?? “He knew how to make chai and do the laundry by the time he was 15, you learnt it at 16” as if that changes anything.

My brother was not taught house chores as soon as he hit 8th grade, but that’s when my mother went full speed with me regarding ghar ka kaam. When I ask her about that double standard she goes “well, your brother had to study back then”, he wasn’t studying until he was in 10th. He was just a normal kid when he was in 8th grade too, just like me. So, why me?

I’m not allowed to cry because “you just use your tears to get away with things”. I’m not allowed to be angry cuz “you’re the younger child, don’t act arrogant”.

My brother can play games at 12 in the night, screaming and shouting and laughing like a maniac. While I can’t even laugh in daylight otherwise I’m being “loud” or “lazy”. She goes on a literal rant just because she heard me laughing “what are you doing laughing rather than doing something productive!!”

They say guys are not allowed to show emotions, I get it. Me too. The only emotion I’m supposed to show is happiness, always laugh and smile like a dumb doll. Mediate when my family fights. Take the brunt of their anger. “why are you lazy about everything! Why don’t you show any interest?” Well, maybe because I’ve had depression since I was 12???

I can’t walk around in my own HOME with just a shirt on, braless. No no, I at least have to wear a tank top inside. Because what will your brother & father think when they see the natural shape of your chest, poking out like two cones?? Well, I’m sorry my chest as a girl doesn’t look naturally rounded?? But my brother can araam se walk around the house shirtless.

I wasn’t allowed to hug my father as soon as I hit the age of 13, I wasn’t allowed to sit on the lap of my father by the age of 11. Because she says “you can’t trust men”. That’s my father?? Btw, my father isn’t that way, it’s just the type of environment she has grown up in and that’s how I am being raised too. What type of environment you ask? It’s where you can’t trust your own daughter with her father and there isn’t even proper proof of the dad being bad. Of course there are disgusting fathers but if she can’t trust her own husband with her daughter! Why are you still with him???

My mother constantly body shames and slt shames other girls/women. She victim blamed me when I was SA’d. I feel disgusted about my body as a girl in front of her gaze, I feel so fcking sexualised in my own home. This lady literally shamed a 16-17 year old girl for hugging her FATHER sideways, cuz omg, her chest was touching her father’s a bit. What typa gaze is that???

Let your golden son take care of you when you get old, don’t expect me to. I’m sorry, I’m just so tired. I have no other reason to face all this nonsense other than my gender. It’s exhausting.