Unpopular at work

I’m really not popular at work. I’ve never been in with the cliques and crowds, always keeping my head down and getting the job done.

I have some firm work/life balance boundaries as I’m a single parent and value my evenings and weekends so I prefer not to engage in too much staff room gossip and I sit quietly in my PPA time and get work done.

Before and after school I like to use my time wisely, get my printing done and then set up my classroom. It takes a while as I have a practical subject. I feel like I’m paying to put my own kid in to wraparound care so I’m going to use that time productively.

I always greet people politely and will have a little bit of small talk but I can’t spend any meaningful time with any colleagues, especially outside of work as I’m a single parent. I can never go to after work drinks or the staff Xmas party as I don’t have childcare, and also can’t justify spending my money on a babysitter, taxis, new outfits etc just for one night.

I might agree with some of my colleagues about meetings and training and admin tasks being a bit ridiculous but I also don’t think it’s worth wasting time moaning about it because deadlines will never get changed in that manner. I personally speak to my line manager about things I am worried about and ask which tasks I should prioritise and as such have had deadlines extended for me or had tasks be reduced - for example I was allowed to conduct some internal key stage 3 assessments outside of the planned week because I also had year eleven coursework to mark for external deadlines. That was in my mind justified but clearly this doesn’t help matters as colleagues make passive aggressive comments that I tend to have more flexibility, and have different rules.

At lunch time I used to also try to get some stuff done and would sit in my classroom reviewing pupil books but I realised that I do need a break myself so I’ve started sitting in the staff room for half an hour with my food.

Every time I walk in the room goes quiet, and there’s several different tables with groups of 3/4 people but plenty of space - it’s like a scene from a teen movie where no one seems to want to make room for me. I’m not the only one, a few other people seem to look and feel awkward so I’ve managed to chat to them, however there’s one clique which has about seven people who are always present and just not very nice.

I have tried to shake it off, just be polite and greet anyone and everyone cheerily but I’ve always felt a bit tense.

I think I’ve seen them text each other across the table when I have been sat there, make strange faces and also make some quite frosty comments.

Today I actually saw one of the cliquey group roll their eyes at me when they didn’t realise I could see them and I just felt horrible.

I’ve got a lot going on, feel quite lonely and isolated and I don’t want to come to work and feel like I’m the odd one out. I’m also far too old for this nonsense. It’s worse behaviour than the children.

I’m not sure what to do about it, or if there is anything I can do except play like I’m oblivious to it, stay professional and polite and pretend like I don’t notice and/or care.

What I’d really like to do is ask if anyone has a problem with me but I know it won’t achieve anything.

I just genuinely don’t know what I’ve done wrong, I don’t want to be in a clique but I don’t want to feel uncomfortable in a staff room on my break every lunch time