I hate that I was born.

I wish I wasn't born. I was just fine in my non existent state before I got forced into this shit. My mom and dad had no business giving me life, they were young twenty-something college students who ended up divorcing two or three years later. I was raised in rural nowhere America by genuinely well intentioned people who cared more about my church attendance and personal beliefs than anything else.

I wish that I could have been raised differently, in a different place. Maybe things would be different. I don't know. I just know things won't get much better. My personal flaws and general life circumstances see to that. I only stick around because I'm too much of a fucking coward to end myself. I'm not a particularly great person, the world gains nothing from my presence and I don't even like being here, yet I'm still here, rotting. There's so much I wish was different that never will be, and I get through most days by living in my daydreams. Deluding myself, basically.

Why couldn't I be different? Why can't life be different? Why am I stuck while everyone else seems to be living? What the fuck is wrong with me?

I hate everything and I hate myself most of all.