12 Days - Feeling Nervous Because I Feel Great?

Hi All!

This is a new account that I'm using for this sub - too many friends and acquaintances know of my main account.

I've been following this sub for probably 16 months, which is basically my entire relapse. This wasn't my first rodeo, however I was FAR enough away from my first one that I hope this is a warning to people. I had an issue with Adderall in college, when I was premed. Same old story, was up to 120-180mg daily, turned into a zombie, cried constantly and eventually took a year off of college and just stopped taking the Adderall. This was almost 15 years ago and 15 years ago I didn't know then what I know now (and even moreso now because of this sub).

My first time getting off Adderall, I really don't remember much of a problem. I remember being really tired for a couple of weeks, but don't really remember much outside of that. After spending time on this sub, I was terrified of what I was going to go through. Truly.

Now, at day 12, I'm very nervous because... I feel fine? Like totally fine. And I'm terrified because of the pink cloud. I've read soooo many times people feel great from like day 10 to day 15 and then all of a sudden, the walls just come crumbling down. I'm in this for the long haul regardless because I love laughing again and thinking about anything else besides productivity. For instance, today I went to buy a new air fryer at Walmart and stopped in the book section to buy some trashy romance novel and noticed the bibles were on the shelf right above them and it made me laugh. In active use, I would have never even noticed that. I wouldn't have even been near there because, by the end of my use again, I would have been too depressed to even go in the store. I would have talked myself out of going (so weird right? By the end, I was the opposite of productive, though I felt SO busy - busy up in the brain only).

Just stick it to me folks. How bad is it when the curtain comes down? Is it like a switch or is it more of a fog/haze that, if you just keep moving, you know it's there but it doesn't engulf you? You keep walking thru it to see more and more bits of light? I hope it's the latter (but don't we all...