client crossed a boundary because of his kink

this client said wanted greek and i agreed to it. he wants a back rub, then a front rub, then a lap dance and i do it all. then we get ready for the sex and he says “can you act like it hurts?” and i was like why and he said “because i want to feel like my dick is too big for your ass” (he was insecure about his small dick). and i was like uh ok.

so when he did it, i was loud. thought that was all he wanted. but then after a while it got to be too much and i reached back and pushed him away. this motherfucker took my hands and pinned them down on the bed and kept going. i started begging him to stop, and asked it multiple times before he finally backed off. he sat down and i was bending over the bed crying. he kept saying “thank you, thank you so much, you’re doing great, seriously great performance”

i sat on the bed still crying and told him he cannot pin my arms down if i’m pushing him off, and he certainly can’t keep going when i’m begging him to stop. and he says that he had asked for a “role play” and he thought i was just playing the part really well. he kept saying “are you really mad or are you just acting” and i had to tell him about how a dude raped me by pinning my arms down like that just to get him to stop being a child and take this shit seriously. he finally apologized and agreed to establish a safe word.

idk man things like this i can just push down and forget about but no one has done that to me in years. i’m saying i’ve been with a shit ton of men and not one of them since my rapist has done that. should i have known he wanted some kind of rape kink thing based on what he said? maybe i should talk to my therapist but he doesn’t get it. y’all do. please help.