why I still can't entirely forgive Tamlin

I'm listening to the audiobook after reading the SJM universe. I've come to realize, after fighting with myself, that I still can't forgive Tamlin.

1 Tamlin did absolutely nothing for 49 years. He wouldn't sacrifice one in his court and instead wanted to accept slavery for EVERYONE for EVER. Even when his court begged him.

2 Unless the Tamlin-Amarantha mate theory is proven true, then I definitely can't forgive him. All he had to do was agree to be her lover. Exactly what Rhysand did. He could agree to free Prythian and the human world and then plot Amarantha's demise but he 'didn't want to'.

3 He would rather anyone die rather than sacrifice himself. Rather than become Amarantha's lover, he would rather her slaughter innocents or let anyone else attempt to save them instead of agreeing.

There are many more reasons like his actions UTM, his bursts of rage, locking Feyre up, joining Hybern, etc. Even if he did good later on, I still can't say he is completely redeemed.

I'm curious if others have forgiven him or not

EDIT: Since everyone thinks I support r*pe/sexual abuse I want to clarify. I am NOT saying I hate Tamlin for not wanting to be her lover. There are so many reasons I dislike Tamlin. What I AM saying is: why not agree to be her lover (but obviously not be with her sexually if he did not want to be) and then try to kill her? Like at the end of the 49 years, when he's UTM, agree to it. See what she says. If she gives back power to everyone and frees Prythian, literally kill her right then and there. Attempt to kill her BEFORE being forced to have relations with her. I am certainly NOT saying Tamlin should be subjected to sexual abuse for the rest of his important life. At that point, when Tamlin realizes there's no hope and no alternatives, why not TELL her he will agree and then try kill her?