Spanking traumatized FMCs

I just have to say...I HATE the spanking trope, at least when it's used improperly. I don't care how light or dark a book is, every somewhat dominant male lead uses it and it drives me nuts when consent isn't given. I love reading books when there's a distraught FMC and the MMC takes care of her. She's usually abused physically or otherwise prior to moving in with the MMC, but when she speaks negatively about herself or starts to question boundaries (very natural for someone in her position), he threatens to spank her. It wouldn't be bad if it was followed up with a, "I'm sorry, I should've have said that. This is what spanking is in my context. I would never abuse you. And if you're not comfortable with it, I will never bring it up again." But it never is. And worse, she's always into it. You're telling me that this girl who has only experienced touch in a negative way is immediately into the idea of being spanked?

I just needed to get this off my chest but if anyone has recommendations for something that may suit my tastes, it would be appreciated lol