Soot is a horrible bitch, roast her

Soot (Miss Foot if ya nasty), is one of five freeloaders smuggled into our house by her equally heinous mother, Freya. Her hobbies include licking plastic bags, chewing on tape, and showing toilet paper who’s boss. She never met a leg she didn’t use as a scratching post, and she shouts when people sneeze. She’s appointed herself as my personal bodyguard, which would be fine, but she never stops screaming and hiding my shoes.

Roast her!