To my first love. my late wife

Babe? Ba't ang sakit. Kung kelan magbi-birthday na ako in a few weeks, kung kelan magki-christmas na next month, iniwan mo ako bigla. I have been crying nonstop the past few days. I thought I was ready, hindi pa pala. I haven't touched your stuff in our bedroom. Andito pa rin lahat. After 40 days mo, hinay-hinay ko ng e-sesegrate mga gamit mo pero tangina ang hirap. It's been more than two weeks since you passed away, hindi mo pa rin ako pinaparamdaman kahit sa mga panaginip ko man lang. Ang daya mo. You must perhaps see me crying all the time, even when I'm driving.

The past 15 years, ikaw ang haligi sa buhay ko. We grew mature together, we've had our ups and downs. When we got married three years ago, I feel in love all the more. It was like magic. Kahit matagal na tayo, di pa rin ako nagsawa sayo. In fact, parang everyday is a new day to know you even better. Kaya di ko alam, parang lahat ng ginagawa ko ngayon wala ng worth dahil wala ka na. Pero don't worry, a lot of people are checking up on me.

Kung baka sakaling mabasa mo to, kung may reddit man jan sa langit, I don't want you to worry about me. I'm keeping myself busy. I will be okay here. I'm grieving, and I don't know how long this will take me to move forward. Pero trust me, I will make it. Mahal na mahal kita at sobrang nami-miss kita. Kung darating ang araw na ako na ang mawawala dito sa mundo, hahanapin kita at I will share to you all my adventures here. I can't wait to see you again, mahal.