My dog got hit by a car

One of my poor little jack russels escaped his pen with his brother and got killed by a car yesterday. I was looking for them but I was too late, I found him on the road and carried him back where his brother had returned before I got there. I’m devastated and crying, I hate the last image I have of him but I made sure my mother and brother didn’t see what had happened. It’s going to be so sad seeing one alone now. There’s been a lot of death in my life and it’s getting harder dealing with the cumulative toll. My lab keeps smelling my hands, jacket, and the table like she knows. I don’t have much besides my family which included our dogs, I’m sick to my stomach and haven’t eaten since