It finally happened!

My biggest fear has been throwing up from a panic attack. And I finally did it today. And it wasn’t that bad. I first got anxious over some random thoughts, nothing in particular. I can’t even remember. Then I started getting hot and that’s a sure sign of a panic attack for me. I went to the loo and thought I needed to go #2. I tried distracting myself with a game but I continued to feel like I was on fire. I went to the sink and splashed cold water on my face but that didn’t cool me down fast enough. I grabbed the trash can and threw up. I cooled down straight away once I was finished throwing up. And it was if nothing had happened. I feel fine now. I’m not upset or scared. I feel fine. I think maybe realizing my biggest fear was a step forward to being ok with my physical sensations and that they won’t kill me even if they are uncomfortable in the moment. I’m still alive. I made it through the worst.