Don't know where else to post---sexual dysfunction in my husband

Hi, I literally don't know who else to talk to and I'm desperately looking for some sort of group who understands. So if this isn't appropriate, feel free to redirect me. This is mainly a vent post.

Husband (33) just can't climax or ejaculate hardly at all. I don't know if it's a psychological block or if it's effects from previous SSRIs. When we dated he absolutely had a sex drive, when he started anti anxiety meds, his libido dipped sharply. We were able to have successful sex for him for the first 2 years of marriage, but due to pain on my end, I think that decreased his libido even further (he really didn't like causing me pain). Finally, after 3 years of marriage, I wanted to start having kids. And unfortunately, this is when his total sexual dysfunction started. To get pregnant, we tried the cup method and he couldn't even ejaculate in another room by himself, so I *logically* know it's not that he's repulsed by me or anything. If he was, he'd be able to still get off other ways.

But, it's incredibly painful. The memes and the jokes are about women who literally run for the hills because their husbands *always* want some and I would kill for that. It hurts so much to be the woman asking for sex and being vulnerable. It hurts still believing that I'm not enough for him (even if he's said this isn't true--it's just where my head goes). Nobody I know is in this position. Women who don't want sex? Sure. But not women who want sex with their husbands and he is unable to perform in his THIRTIES. I think he finds his body disgusting on top of everything else, so I think it's psychological.

In order to get pregnant, we have to do a TESE procedure. It sucks SO MUCH that we have to pay $1000 for the procedure and probably another $1000 for anesthesia and other costs just to get sperm that most men can just shoot out for free. Plus all the other expenses of IVF. I assume I'm fairly fertile. It sucks because nobody on the infertility channel gets it, nobody has had this experience. I feel SO isolated and lonely. I don't want to tell people because so much of masculinity is wrapped up in sexual performance, and I don't want to embarrass my husband. Anyone I talk to about it asks about porn, other women, sexuality, and it honestly almost makes me mad. He tells me he is very attracted to me, and I know he's faithful. Hoping someone here understands and can just empathize a little bit.

EDIT: Testosterone levels are normal and he's tried so many anti depressants I'm not sure what was SSRI or not, but currently not on SSRIs. He is on prestiq for OCD and welbutrin to help his mood (supposed to help his sex drive...lol). he has tried other meds to help his libido. Obviously, struggles with mental health, and I suspect Selective Eating Disorder/ARFID. He actually can get an erection pretty easily, but just can't orgasm.