How do I carry on?

Given the medicine at 14 so I've never felt sexual pleasure and desire. Cognitive disorder so severe I can't drive and I can't even work a simple cashier job and now I'm unemployed again. Nothing makes me excited. Drinking is the only thing but only a fraction of the time, a lot of the time I feel the same or even more depressed after drinking. I have awful gastrointestinal issues as the SIBO returned. I have not a single thing to live for now. Everything was taken away from me. I'm nearly 30 and teenagers are further ahead in life than me.