I had a PMDD crisis today.

I feel like I failed because I had an episode today so bad that the only thing that would stop the kill yourself thoughts was breaking a chip clip and trying to cut myself. I immediately asked for someone to come watch me because I didn’t trust myself. My husband came home and said him being nice to me about my pmdd is getting played out. And that he knows I wouldn’t hurt myself. How do you know when I don’t even know.