I feel calm now. I have no intrusive thoughts about getting rabies. For now.

This moment of calmness and no worries due to unwanted thoughts feels good and eerie at the same time. I always felt that I wanted to be normal, but when 'normalcy' comes, it feels empty, eerie and weird. I will not have thoughts of contracting rabies for few hours, but any bodily sensation or pain will occur as well as reading any journal about rabies, my anxiety will be on the roof and all unwanted thoughts will come down crashing, creating an intense level of anxiety that will force me to look for reassurances through googling about symptoms or checking any kind of change in my body. This feels tiring, and I now have a period of calm in which I don't feel like it's a good thing for me, when in reality, it should be.