Do you just feel dumber as a parent?

I feel like the scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz. I had a dream last night that I was the scarecrow performing in a stage play of the Wizard of Oz. But I even forgot my lines and then everyone was mad at me. But I felt like I couldn’t speak or lost my voice and “because I’m a busy mom” wasn’t a good enough excuse. That’s what every day feels like for me and probably many of you.

I’m a mom with a full-time and fast-paced job. I have a eczema-prone seven month old and strong-willed three-year-old. The baby still doesn’t sleep through the night because he’s so itchy.

I feel like I’m making stupid and small mistakes at work from lack of sleep and a maxed out mental load. I feel like when I’m in meetings I can’t talk or form sentences correctly because I’m on overdrive. I have great support from my partner, taking some of the mental load off of my plate but my partner is just as overwhelmed as me. We have support from our parents and family but it still feels like it’s not enough.

I mostly work from home and have a home office but then I have mom guilt from having the door closed all day. My three year old doesn’t fully understand why I have to work - so she might think that I’m ignoring her, which has not helped her potty training regression.

I feel like I’m constantly spinning at work while also being slammed with priorities. I feel so dumb. It is so hard to think. It’s so hard to explain things. I want to tell my coworkers and supervisors that this is not typically like me. I’m not usually like this. I’m not myself. But I have to keep it professional. I show up and try my best. But I just want to shout “I’M SORRY I AM A SLEEP-DEPRIVED MOM, PLEASE GIVE ME A BREAK.”

No one told us how hard the transition from 1-2 kids is. No one warns you how lonely it can be. I know I’m in the thick of it. I know there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.

But right now, it feels like I have no brain.

Some notes: We have help from the drs with eczema. We have a great support system. I’m in therapy. And yes - we live in the US.