Sex and their needs above all

One time on vacation I got stung by a jellyfish. I was in the worst pain of my life. It was like millions of tiny needles jabbing me and shooting electricity up and down and through my body for literal hours. It also burned. It was just fucking terrible.

When it happened, my ex immediately took me to our hotel room and got me ointment and ice and took care of me. He actually was very gently and attentive, which was not like his usual self, especially on vacation. I think he felt like prince charming come to rescue me. And I really appreciated it! He was my prince charming.

But within just a few hours he was already asking for sex again. I was in the worst pain of my life. I could barely walk. I couldn’t let any part of my body touch another part or else it would burn like crazy. He was like “please I’m so horny I promise I’ll be gentle and I won’t hurt you.” I agreed, reluctantly, and mostly out of the anxiety I felt from where things tended to lead when I rejected him (bad). He was being so considerate and caring with me after I got stung and I was concerned that if I said no to sex, he very well might have gone cold again, as he usual did.

So we had sex. It was so uncomfortable and I could barely move. It felt like he was masturbating with my body. But, at least he was being nice to me after my jellyfish sting.

Just something I’ve been thinking about lately and how weird it felt at the time. I don’t know if it was necessarily abusive, but I really only agreed to have sex because I didn’t want him to take away the kindness. It’s like he had molded me through past encounters to be afraid of rejecting him to the point I’d agree to have sex while in the worst pain of my life just to prolong some sense of care on his end. Weird shit